hurricanes & heartaches (rejeneration) wrote,
hurricanes & heartaches
rejeneration

Week Two - Spoons

Warning: Language? =D I swear. That's just me! Maybe don't read from work. Or do? Your choice!

"Hey!" I yelled.

I didn't mean it. It was out of my mouth - a cold breath in, a warm breath out- and then it went all bells and whistles around the neighborhood. It carried back and forth though these old, vacant lots. Not vacant enough, though, to prevent it from finally pinballing back to us. Us, in that we sense, of not only me, the two people about half a football field away. One guy, one girl.

My brain blanked a second, and in the time that fell between what happened and what didn't, I evaluated this:
- How surprising the very sound had been. How, if a sound could actually make something happen, the sound I had just made would, definitely, be it. I was witnessing a miracle. An intangible thing turning as tangible as a slap right in front of my face.
- How, as the guy turned his attention from the other girl to me, I'd succeeded in whatever intention my unconscious self had had for this scenario. Apparently, now that my resting self, and my conscious self were finally talking again, I was going to be a hero. Whatever end my unconscious self had for either of us, at least the girl at the end of the field wouldn't feel alone.

Team Solidarity for the mother fuckin' win!

Only problem, I had nothing on me. No weapon more complicated than a spoon. I'd taken down guys before, but the guy at the end of the field was a monster. Two and a half bucks, easy, and I weighed in at 110.

He moved like he'd grown up stalking things. Like a hunter's son, trying for the perfect approval. He wanted to put me down.

I shrugged my jacket, watching the girl take out her phone and dial.

I raised a small prayer. It left just as unconsciously as this whole thing started, and I gave pause to the thought that maybe I should put a little more brain power into considering things before I actually did them!

When he came at me, I'd already curved the plastic spoon into the palm of my hand, the hardened plastic digging into my pulse. I'd left less than a millimeter or two of it exposed, just sharp enough to cut into his face. To leave a huge pressing injury, blinding his eye, a crescent shape cut from his forehead to his cheek.

He reeled back, wiping the blood out of his eye. I watched shock turn into a hungry interest. I'd piqued something so dark inside him, it came up with fascination. An excitement no one had any business inciting.

I muttered, "Fuck," falling back as many feet as they would carry me.

"I'm going to enjoy this," he replied.

Great.

When he came at me again, it was with newfound steam.

No one is lucky all the time. I missed the first three punches, but caught the end of the last one with my jaw. It sent me staggering. I tried to dance out of it, to put space between us, but he was on me in an instant, pulling me down to the ground, climbing on top of me.

On my chest, his knees digging into my sides, he sat back to study me. Like a butcher, he sized my body into quarter sections, rubbing his hands together. He'd waited to pull the knife. It hung between us, brilliant like diamonds, light from the field flashing off the blade. It sent starbursts in every direction.

He was so close to the core objective. I could smell the defeat. His cold sweat landed on my neck and slid. There was nothing I could do.

That's when he started to jerk like a fish out of water, dying in the August sun. Falling to his side, he gave me enough space to wriggle out.

At his feet, a young black officer, stood. Her stun gun ready to deliver another bolt if dude moved. Another cop was sprinting the distance from his car to where his partner had just saved my life.

I breathed, "Thank you." Thank you a thousand times. Thank you all the way back to the precinct where they took my statement. Thank you all the way back to my dorm, where I was advised to stay with someone.

I fell into a chair, my elbow nudging the box of spoons, sending them cling clanking like my bruised bones. There wasn't a place I didn't hurt. But all the hurt in the world was better than never drawing another breath.

I might have sat there, too, quietly thanking those god-damned spoons.
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  • 35 comments
Nice!
Gracias! =D
Frightening. Suspenseful. Powerful. I am also quietly saying thank you for those G.D. spoons. Oh yeah.
.
OMG you just saved a damsel in distress!!!!
LOL! You're so sweet!

Also, I'm a badass! ;D
Very well done, and yes, you did save a damsel in distress, who, through her telephone, managed to save you as well. Not a good situation to be in, but I'm glad it ended well.
I've walked into so many similar situations, and while I've never taken down a guy with a spoon, I have kicked my share of ass. And I'm still walking and talking about it. But, ... oh the stories.

That's what intrigues me about the premise, I suppose. Walking into the same old cow pasture, time and again, you can blame the field for the shit on your shoes. =D Sometimes, it's not always your day. Sometimes when you save someone, they have to save you, too!

Just good ol' fun with logic circles. ;D

Thank you for reading and commenting!
Ha, I love this. :D
Yay!! Thank you, teamie! <3
Gripping tale! Loved the ending.

rejeneration

December 14 2015, 15:45:40 UTC 1 year ago Edited:  December 14 2015, 15:46:05 UTC

You are sweet!

I thought the ending was ridiculously weak =( I just, I tried working it a dozen ways, and couldn't get it to rest more comfortably.. if you know what I mean?

Thank you, Alyce! =D

alycewilson

1 year ago

rejeneration

1 year ago

Ooooh, a good bloody fight scene, with spoons no less. *grin* Rockin' fun times.

I breathed a sigh of relief after submitting my entry around 3:00 am this morning, and only now thought, "I wonder which of my buds have theirs up?" Glad we both made the cut this time. :)

Dan
Hello doll! Oofta, what a week it has been. I needed a little terminal velocity in this one! It was pretty short, and there probably should have been more development, and that ending just sat wrong to me. It was too abrupt, and just didn't pack enough of a punch, but! All that aside, there are a few lines in there that I like!

Thank you so much for enjoying it with me! <3

I am SOOO glad you got your entry in, too! God, I read it in the waiting room of my doctor's office, today. I wanted to comment so much, and I even started to, but if my stream of thought goes beyond the standard two to three line sentence, I am utter SHITE on my phone! I used to be so fast, but I've somehow turned into an old fart when I wasn't looking! ;P They should warn you about things like this!

Anyway, you already know that I read, cuz I msg'd. I fear that's going to be the way of it for a while. Just enough time to fit all the reading in, let alone the writing. Commentary is like a damn luxury. ;P Oofta!

I don't know if I'll get the chance, so let me say it now, new friend! I am so glad to have met, and I am so glad you decided to like me enough to call me friend (I mean... you do, right? Like me? -eef- -chews nails- -looks neurotic-

I am wishing you the VERY BEST the end of this year has to offer, and the MOST AMAZING 2016. For you and yours!

muchtooarrogant

1 year ago

Really well done, with lots of tension!

It reads like non-fiction, and made me cringe at the realization that the spoon the narrator carried was only a plastic one. So underpowered. :O

I'm glad everyone but the perp came out of that one okay, though I'll be the narrator didn't stop shaking for days.
Thank you, darling!

I soooooo wanted it to read like non-fiction! That was absolutely what I was going for. So yayness on that one! Thank you for that! <3

I bet she didn't either. And, beyond packing a few spoons in her to-go bags (in case of emergency!), I also saw her eating lots of things that required them the next few days. Sort of a safety blanket kind of thing. Jellos, puddings, ramen and the like! ;D

Love you, hon! I know you already know all about the reading/commenting thing (and how guilty I feel for not doing more), but I give as I can. Doing more than that, extending beyond my own means, will burn me out all the sooner. So. I hope to have a little stamina this season. I really am.

Have the BEST holidays, hon! I hope you get everything!
Great! I'm so glad your protagonist was saved from a truly awful beating. This reminded me of high school, where my friends would jokingly say "use a spoon, it'll hurt more," and suddenly I can't remember the exact reference... but, you know, using a dull object to cause injury might actually hurt way worse than a quick slash of a sharp knife. Good job on this!
I am too! =D She sure earned it, I mean, c'mon! But... saved in the end!

Our boys used to do the SAME thing! They had a whole strategic system of spoon-type tortures! -shaking head- Boys are universal! -sigh-

I think you're right, too! When I was thinking about this plastic spoon, I was thinking about the type that aren't the really hard, snappable plastics, but the kind that are kind of flexible, bendy. And those suckers, I don't know if you've gone to grab one from its box and have moved faster than their spacial relationship allows, because ddaaaaayyyyym! They can give you one HELL of a "paper" cut. Like ... it burns for hours! So, yes! I was thinking of something like that, which I agree, can probably hurt a heck of a lot more than another weapon. Then again, a gun shot.. ;D

Thanks so much for reading, and commenting! I really appreciate it.

sinnamongirl

1 year ago

💜💜💜💜💜
Woah, that was terrifying! So glad the outcome was not worse.
Ha! This was a kickass adventure.. I enjoyed the use of spoon here..great going..Good Job!
loved this and the last line was perfect!

bleodswean

December 16 2015, 22:29:03 UTC 1 year ago Edited:  December 16 2015, 23:11:26 UTC

Action is hard to write and you brought an eloquence and grace to this encounter which is brilliant!

(NM. I re-read it.)
Fantastic. Funny, when they talk about what you can use as a weapon in self-defense class, and they tell you how to carry your keys, and what to do with your thumbs, if necessary, they never mentioned spoons. Maybe they should, though. ;)

~karmasoup
Impressive use of a plastic spoon as a weapon. I wouldn't have been able to manage that!
Oh nice one! Im glad it had a happy ending. It was getting scary there!
Wow - scary! And I like that you let the reader feel relief at the end, too.

I have a technical question - what stops the electricity from flowing into the body of the narrator, since they're touching?
I *think* it's a low enough current that the person who has been tazed is the only one to feel it, because of the metal bits; I don't think it would go through his body to the other person's body (but haven't really researched it).

whipchick

1 year ago

Gripping tale, and well told!
Super energy!

Suspenseful.

Good read!
I'm glad your main character was saved by some nice stun gun ex machina. Its hard to stand up to somebody who is in the process of being awful when you know that awfulness is going to be directed at you.

I get a kind a Joanna Newsom vibe from this story, which is weird because there's almost nothing in it that matches her normal themes. None the less, this is the song I thought of. Its a long one, so I understand if you don't listen to it. Something just feels similar to me.

"Hey!" I yelled